Skip to main content

Aldous Huxley Made Me Beautiful

So now: it has taken me 22 years and a quote from Aldous Huxley to start a new thing for myself. I was just rolling on my bed last night reading "Brave New World" by The Man himself, I got up to Google his wiki page and find some related readings. I stumbled upon this quote in my research:

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." ~Aldous Leonard Huxley

It hit me straight right where it hurts, the confused place where I store my poor self-image, my own criticisms on my appearance and the thoughts that bring me down and lower my drive to want to change myself for the better. I've once thought all my efforts would be futile anyway. Nobody would notice really, or that I think everybody will and laugh at me and my stupid efforts. I don't look good; I'm too fat; I'm too short; My face is too round; My hair is too weird; My legs too short and stumpy; My nose too big; My arms too hairy; my butt non existent; and my chest area is a wall. We are truly our own worse critic.

I didn't get much sleep last night because I was thinking very hard of the things I want to do for myself. I remember an advice given to me long ago by a very good friend of mine, something along the line of how we should never judge ourselves through other people's eyes. She urged me to respect myself in spite of my "supposed physical shortcomings", and to know that there is something in me that's worth showing, and I deserve to feel and do things that make me happy. Now I realize that she's right all along SO COULD SOMEBODY GIVE THAT GIRL A FREAKING MEDAL? I am beginning to accept the truth of the quote, if I am not for myself, who will be?

It's no surprise that the negative things I'm thinking are screwing up my feelings and ideas as well. The negativity always spreads far, and beyond just criticisms of over my physical appearance. It tugs on my confidence in the things I do. Whenever I look at myself and I think I look frumpy, I FEEL frumpy! So I don't go out as much, don't do activities as long as I begin to feel that way. Whenever I think I look dull, I BORE myself to death and I begin to nag at myself about how boring I am, and that I will never be someone interesting. But whenever I think I look cute, I FEEL like the cutest thing in the world and that no one can say "no" to me. My appearance does take a big factor in what I think of myself.

This Late Bloomer will be dedicated to my efforts, great and small, into finding the things that give me a boost of enthusiasm and confidence in my looks. And I will IMPROVE, gosh darn it!!

So thank you, Aldous! I dedicate this first post to you!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken

There are those times that we beg, pray, wish with all our might that there's a guide that will tell us what to do or what decisions to make during life's most crushing, crucial parts. Well, guess what, one book on how to get over one is now available in your nearest bookstore. I consider myself one of the very lucky few, I've never experienced a real break-up. Yet. But once, I nearly did and I felt all the mass of the entire universe was sitting on my chest. I can't imagine what it must feel like for the real thing. I think I will combust entirely :( I read this book, It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt , hoping to get some sense of what to do when time calls for it. I'd like to get equipped for that when the situation comes, so this one book is seriously one of my best arsenals. The book teaches women/ladies/girls how to keep their dignity during and even after a break-up. Most of the time we have no idea
2 comments
Read more

Schoolgirl by Osamu Dazai: Melancholic Contemplation

Arriving all the way from USA, I had a tiny traveler plop down right in front of my desk. The moment I held the book, I immediately focused long and hard on the book cover. I've had my small share of contemporary Japanese novels and each had very interesting designs, but not one is as gently arresting as this Schoolgirl by Osamu Dazai published by One Peace Books . Soft yet stark. I'm not one to judge a book by its cover, but it certainly is a good way to hold the interest of the readers. A closer look at the cover would remind one of things that are "beautiful in its simplicity". Everybody knows the Japanese aesthetics, a "set of ancient ideals that include wabi (transient and stark beauty), sabi (the beauty of natural patina and aging), and yûgen (profound grace and subtlety). * " Reflecting at these values, it's wonderful to observe how the cover follows the flow of wabi and yugen, isn't it? But a book should offer more than
2 comments
Read more

VOV Castledew Eyeshadow Palette

I've always wanted an eyeshadow palette though I'm not sure if eyeshadows are my thing. I just love Castledew because it's so princessy and shiny and jewel-like and perfect. A Castle dew eyeshadow palette in all its shiny pretty glory! This is available in the La Core stall (korean beauty shop). Every time I passed by their stall, I always ask to view the palette and I always jump up and down in delight when I see it. Now I have it! MUAHAHAHA! I'll try to play around with the colors! See you!
7 comments
Read more